Juke Joint Saturday Night

White guys who grew up in Memphis have had at least one black friend tell 'em this: "If you could be a negro just one Saturday night, you'd never want to be white any more."

We Memphis white boys have more depth in the black music department than white boys anywhere (think Elvis, and many more white Memphis hipsters through the years), so I'm trotting some choice stuff out for the rest of y'all.

I'm not doing blues in this post so much as southern soul. I warn you, the content is highly sexual; but ladies, check out these videos: the message is real and in your favor, unlike the misogynist rap crap you've been assaulted with.

Let's get the party started with the immortal Muddy Waters' "Champagne and Reefer"! (I had to substitute an audio-only for the live video some dumb shithead scrubbed off YouTube, thinking it was in his/her/their interest.)



The same Chess/MCA or their successors in interest stinking lawyer suits fronting for greedy and stupid record company investor suits scrubbed my next video off YouTube too. The song? Screw it. I'm not telling you. Fuck 'em. The artist is dead anyway.

Here's the kind of number you can hear Miss Nicki singing at Wild Bill's in Memphis: Denise LaSalle's "Lady in the Streets - Freaky in the Bedroom":



Now back to the men. First, soul great Clarence Carter, whom I was lucky enough to meet in Tunica after a recent show, on his way to the tables and escorted by his squeeze because he's blind as a bat. I said, "Hey man, I was hopin' you'd do 'Tell Daddy'." He said, "You must go back a ways. The women took that song from me and turned it into "Tell Mama." Here he is doing his chitlin' circuit favorite, "Strokin."



Now this last video is the long version of Marvin Sease's classic "Candy Licker." Girls, women, ladies, whichever you're in the mood to be called right now, don't miss this M____r-F____r!



Ladies, here it is again, one of the finitely numbered Saturday nights in your life. I hope you're still on speaking terms with an available, extremely satisfying man you can call and say, "Hey Baby, I want to 'see' you tonight." Head down to the closest thing you have to a juke joint, treat him like the treasure he is, and go home with him before y'all get too wasted for him to do you like he do.