From my sister, Alice Frye:
I am a 49 year old female, fast approaching one of those dreaded speed limit birthdays, and I’m not happy about the fact. Perhaps I could grow old with a bit more grace, were there not so many special interest groups clamoring to speak for me with their severely limited social and political vocabularies.
For some time now, I have lived in dread of my 50th birthday because, as a dear friend and former college professor once pointed out, the AARP will force a free one-year membership on me, so that they can claim to represent my interests in their biased Congressional lobbying efforts. Yee-gads! In my mind, I’m still a joyful kid and a free spirit in search of new adventures. Don’t color me gray just yet.
Now a new enemy has surfaced to further threaten and inhibit my independence. Emily’s List is attempting to draft me as a soldier in its Femi-Nazi army for political influence. Yes, I have a vagina instead of a penis. Scientists now say that my brain may be more sympathetic than that of the average male. And I have raging hormones that confound me as surely as they mystify the people with whom I interact.
But, excuse me, girls, I happen to like boys, and I am pleased to announce that they have not become de facto enemies because of their chromosomes. Some of them are even advanced enough to represent my best interests in the political realm. And I will vote for the good guys and support them against any idiotic feminist zombie that you promote for government office simply because of her gender.
As your propaganda illustrates, I should share the values of the candidates you have chosen to back in the midterm elections, because I am a woman. However, I have a somewhat cold and insensitive truth to share with you. I value intelligence.
If your chosen one is ignorant, sexist, racist, or if, God forbid, she is one of those females who has advanced the position of “government as Daddy” to help young women avoid taking responsibility for their actions, I will meet you on the battlefield with all of those glowing strengths and qualities that you associate with a strong female. And I will whup your scrawny butt every time.
That’s a promise.